Tourettes Applejack
by Vintage Sniper
Summary: This is my first submission to so judge me fairly. This is what happens when Applejack meets the Tourettes Guy Basically, the classic tourettes guy scenes but with Applejack instead of...ok you get it CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, you'd expect it. More chapters will come soon


Basic Cast:

Applejack as Danny, The Tourettes Guy

Braeburn as Shirlena

Applebloom as The Tourettes Guy's son

Other ponies will play other roles

I do not own anything...all content belongs to their respective owners

This is my first submission to ...so judge it fairly.

WARNING: CONTAINS STONG LANGUAGE, you'd expect it if it was the Tourettes Guy.

Applejack *on phone to Ponyville Police*: Yes, It was 'bout 10 minutes ago, a stallion tried to break into mah truck! *can you describe what he looks like?* Yes, he's a long legged, pissed of Manehattian!

Applejack: ASS! ASS! ASS!

*Applejack drops her cider*

Applejack: OH BOB SAGET!

*random stallion farts*

Applejack: OH BOB SAGET!

*attack of the irate bees while Applejack is trying to bale the hay*

Applejack: Oh...aw shit...OH BOB SAGET! AH SHIT...SHIT! DARN Y'ALL! SHIT! SHIT!

Applejack's cousin Braeburn turns up unexpectedly while Applejack is taking a shower

*Braeburn bangs his hoof on the door multiple times*

Applejack: WAIT A MINUTE YOU CLIT!

Braeburn: I don't have a clit, you prick!

Applejack: BRAEBURN?! AW SHIT!

Braeburn: Applejack, what d'ya wan' for breakfast?

Applejack: Sweet apple tart sugarcube.

Braeburn: What?

Applejack: OH FOR APPLEBUCKS, I SAID SWEET APPLE TART!

Applejack: I HAVE TO LIVE IN THIS HELL HOLE. ALL Y'ALL DO IS STAY A'HOME, PLAY WITH YA DICK AND LOCK A YA ASS AT THE SAME TIME *Braeburn throws the tart at Applejack* AAAAAHHHH...AAAAAARGH...SHIT!

Braeburn: I'LL KICK YA IN THE TITS!

Applejack: CUNT! I'm your cousin...

Applejack at the fridge *Aka: Bighoof*

Applejack: HOLY DUMB FUCK! WHAT IS THIS SHIT?!

Applebloom: Sis' can we go get some "Apple Crunch" cereal today?

Applejack: Fuck you filly y'all a clit!

Applebloom: But sis'.

Applejack: Y'all a faggot!

Applebloom: But Sis' yesterday ya said me and Scootaloo could get some.

Applejack: I dint' talk to nopony yesterday, I was in the barn takin' a shit!

Applejack: Who gives a shit about Bighoof? MARES' ASSES!

*Applejack's telephone rings*

Applejack: Rarity...*rings again*...Rarity...*phone rings again*...RARITY...*phone rings...again* Next time I come across her in the street', I'll shove a broom up 'er ass! CUNT!

Applebloom: Sis' is there any syrup left?

Applejack: Yer cousin is the one who dicks with the syrup, not me!

Applebloom: Sis' there some golden stuff on the floor

Applejack: THAT'S MAH ASS! 

Applejack: He's a cunt! I call 'em a cunt right in front' of his dick! I woun't fuck 'en with yer clit, or pussy! He has nice ass! I'd like to tit fuck his ass!

Applejack: Fuck 'em, he's an ass, go touch his dick, I won't fuck 'em with my own ass..

*phone rings again* 

Applejack: LICK MAH PUSSY Y'ALL! *Phone rings again* DARN IT Y'ALL! *she furiously slams the fridge shut*

Applejack gets drunk that night and starts imitating a TV show she watched on mystery sloving

Applejack: TONIGHT, ON UNSOLVED EQUESTRIAN MYSTERIES, FIND OUT, WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT "BIGHOOF"...UPDATE...APPARENLTY NOPONY GIVES A SHIT SO, FUCK 'EM Y'ALL!

Applejack: UPDATE! Last night, Somepony broke in and stole over 500 bucks worth of shit from mah place. THAT'S RIGHT! 500 BUCKS WORTH OF BULL SHIT!

Applejack phones Colgate to complain about her toothpaste

Colagate *Over the Phone*: Hello how can I help?

Applejack: Yes! I bought your Toothpaste Colgate, the one with tartar control, AND IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!

Colgate: What Applejack?

Applejack: THIS IS BULLSHIT!

Colgate: Please hold on a few seconds *Holds up and heads to the loo*

*Every Breath You Take by The Police plays over the phone*

Applejack: I HOPE THIS IS THE PUFF DADDY VERSION OF THIS SONG, NOT THAT STING PIECE OF SHIT!

Sting: #Every breath you take, every move you make#

Applejack: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

DAMMIT! HOLY SHIT! CLITS!

Colgate: Applejack are you back with me?

Applejack: Yes! I bought your Toothpaste Colgate, your one with tartar control, AND IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!

Colgate: ?

Applejack: I AM PISSED!

*Colgate hangs up*

Applejack: FUCKIN' HANG UP MAH ASS!


End file.
